Love-Hate

You know how there are some things in life that you will always have a love-hate relationship with? Like, girls, hair. It's longness is pretty and girly, but it's always on our neck making us sweat during the summer! Or junk food. It's delicious, but far from nutritious.

Well, for me, electronics are a major love-hate. Television. I enjoy it, but I've gotten to where I barely watch it, which I like. And facebook, I loved it while I had it, but it sucked away my time. I ended up deleting my account, which I'm still glad about. Freedom. Well, I've moved on to texting. I'm giving it up for the month of July. Don't get me wrong, I know last time I said I was temporarily giving up facebook, I ended up deleting it. But I'll keep texting after this month. I just want a break. Texting IS a good thing, but I think a month without it will be good for me.

Not only will I have more time without it, but real life will just seem...better. More real. If that makes sense. I know that was the case with facebook. To be honest, I'm excited about seeing what God will show me in the next month. So, starting right now, I'm text-free. Call me if you need me! I am 89% sure that I'll answer.

-caylielane

Let Me Fill You In.

Hello, blog world! The past couple of days have kind of slurred together in my head. I've been hanging out with that lovely girl called Eli a whole lot. We've officially decided we are more like sisters than anything else. It's pretty great.

I've been on a job hunt for the past couple of days. It's actually kind of fun, believe it or not. I don't even know why. I've kind of made it a game in my head...trying to get the best job possible in the smallest amount of time. I applied at 10 or 15 different places, so hopefully a few will call me back soon! Haha. I'm hoping for a hostess job at a nice restaurant, because the pay is better than most other jobs. And...money would be a pleasant addition to this life of mine.

Have you seen the movie RV? The other night, my family (plus Eli) all watched it together, with popcorn and all. It was very offiicial if I do say so myself. I'd seen the movie a couple of times before, but I had forgotten how stinking hilarious it is! And Kristen Chenoweth is in it, who is entirely amazing and indescribably talented.

I've been really tired lately. I don't know what's up. I've been taking a nap almost every day, and last night I went to bed at like NINE. Let. me. tell. you. That's severely early for me. Hmm. I'm a bit puzzled by it all.

Tonight I have a Jamaica training meeting at the church! I'm pumped for many reasons. 1.) It's at that lovely place called St. Andrews. 2.) My insanely great friends will be there. 3.) We'll be talking about JAMAICA.

Fabulous!

-caylielane.

P.S. Carolyn...I miss you.

Joyful

Well, I'm back from that place called Brookhill, and let me tell you... I may have lost my voice, but I gained so much more.

It was a hard, fast paced, busy week. Lots of sweeping, spraying, wiping, bed-making, camper-herding, and organizing. But it was so, so, insanely worth it.

Why? Why would going to camp as a counselor be BETTER than going as a camper? It's hard to put my finger on it, but I'll try. This week was all about giving for me. I got a chance to meet some truly amazing kids, and to really show them the joy that I've found in Christ. As counselors, all of us made the commitment to be constant examples of true joy. We sang the loudest, danced the craziest, yelled the loudest, and did so without a hint of shame. In the more serious moments, like at the crucifixion drama, or when David spoke about chains keeping them from the freedom Christ gives, we were there to pray over the campers and to encourage them. Lives were changed this week, and I feel so blessed to have been a part of it.

Things about Brookhill 2010 that will forever be remembered:

* The experience of sweating nonstop for a week. NONSTOP.

* The little girl who began the week homesick and miserable, and left able to admit that she had an amazing time.

* Making an insane amount of water balloons. Skipping breakfast to do so...

* The wonderful Christmas-themed dinner. Chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, and chocolate cake. Oh. Snap.

* The look on thirteen little girls' faces after performing a cheer in front of the entire camp.

* Connecting with an older camper late at night, and praying together.

* Being personally thanked by that same older camper this morning for impacting her life.

* Dancing around like a hyper seven year old, singing at the top of my lungs.

* The fact that I have never said the word "awesome" in my entire life as much as i did this week.

* Watching about 50 little 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders ask Christ into their lives for the very first time.

* Wagon songs. Just....yes.

* Making the Fun Swim swing a game. "When you're in the air, I want you to tell me what your name would be if you were asian."

I'm so thankful for this past week. It's been great. Wonderful, even.

-caylielane.

Wide Open

I'm arriving at Brookhill in approximately 13 hours. (Well, 12 hours and 50 minutes. Not that I'm counting.) I can't wait to meet my campers, drink limeades, connect with kids, be outside, skip, laugh, be loud, praise Jesus, be random, be humbled, love, sing, be inspired, teach, learn, run errands, clean up behind FunDip-happy 3rd graders, spread joy....

It should be a week packed full of intense experiences. The word 'intense' comes in many colors and flavors, but I like it that way... if everything was grape...there would be no strawberry. You catching what I'm throwing?

My prayer for this week is that I would be wide open. I'm not going into it with any expectations, other than to listen and obey. I want to be open to building relationships, and REALLY pouring into the lives of the campers around me. Me alone...I'm capable of next to nothing. But if I can just open up, and let God work through me...making myself a tool up for His use...who knows what can happen this week.

This week? Who knows what can happen...period. In my life. For with God, nothing is impossible. I've been learning that over time; this year especially. He's done more than I ever even thought possible in me. I can rest in the fact that I don't have to, and cannot depend on myself. The Lord has everything under control, and all he asks of me is that I trust him.

That, I can do.

-caylielane.

Today.

Ahh, today was good.

I went to the Athletic Club first thing this morning and worked out, which made me very happy. Then, I hung out with Eli for a while. We went on a walk and chilled with mi familia. After that, I went with Tim's mom to the church, because all the middle schoolers, plus Gracie, Tim, and Melissa were getting back from the Nashville mission trip. It was so great to see all of them! So great. Gracie's family, Tim's family and I went out to eat at this amazing greek restaurant, and then headed to Tim's house to hang out. We ended up running out and playing in the rain for a long time, which was so great. Nothing like a good rain frolic. After drying off, we sat around, talked, and played guitar for a while. It was quite pleasant if I do say so myself.

Now I'm in my room, being relaxed and looking forward to the days ahead of me. Tomorrow, I'm going to church, and packing for Brookhill....agh! Brookhill. On Monday. Oh. My. Like...oh my. I'm excited.

Oh, hey! Have...have I mentioned I'm a bit excited about Brookhill next week?

Because....I am.

Yes. My life is a good one, yes it is. Today I was given a framed piece of paper with a quote on it- "A woman's heart must be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her." How perfect and true is that? It's on my dresser.

-caylielane.

Oh Me Oh My...

Hello, Friday. So far, you've been pretty good to me. Today I slept in until about 8:30, which was nice. I then proceeded to get lots of chilling knocked out. Followed by geometry. Then, Dad, Crib, and I were off to the Athletic Club, which I always love. And from there? Guitar. Great. I love guitar, I really do.

Which brings us to this moment. I'm sitting in my room, wondering why I'm so unusually calm, quiet, and chilled out today. This isn't like me, but apparently it is for now... Hmmm. I do not understand myself. I guess it's just that this whole week has been so slow paced for me...which is far from normal in the life of Caylie. Nothing is ever slow paced...

Tonight, I'm going to see Letters To Juliet with Mom, Eli, and Rachel. I honestly don't know anything about the movie, but I'm sure it will be good...maybe I'll be a bit more upbeat by then. I don't know. I kind of want to take a random nap, right now, in the middle of the day. Would that just be silly? I really do want to. Maybe I will. I...I...I'm going to.

Cashews are good. The ones from Walgreens.

Yup, Walgreens...

-caylielane.

Short And Sweet.

Hello, there. Today has been another brain-turning-to-mush-nothing-but-studying-biology day. So far. In a couple of hours, I'm heading to the church to help Mr. Brymer with the CD thing again, which will be fun. Then, I think Dad and I are going out to eat together, which we never get to do! I'm happy about that. Very happy. I love my daddy. A whole lot.

Today I made FiberOne pancakes for lunch...let me tell you. They are delicious! I highly recommend them to those pancake lovers out there.

Yes, today's post is a short one. Toodloo!

-caylielane

Summer Slowdown

Dear Blog Reader,

I would like to apologize for my lack of blog posts. This time, I don't have my normal excuse of I've been too busy. Nope. Just the opposite, actually. This week, my life slowed down drastically. I pretty much always manage to stay super busy doing stuff with friends, but a bunch of my friends are out of town this week. Gracie and Tim are in Nashville for the mission trip, Scott is in Georgia, and Carolyn is in Germany. Arg. However, I've been getting lots of hang out time with that wonderful girl I like to call Eli. We've been together for basically 4 straight days. Yes. Aghh, she's fabulous.

Today, Eli and I ate lunch at the Athletic Club, and then came home while I studied biology for a while. Then, we went on a walk outside, which was lovely. Later, I went on a 3 mile run. It was...hot. It's just...odd. How slow my life has become so quickly. It's nice for a week, but I'll be thrilled when all of my people are back! Haha. I like to stay busy and social, and all that good stuff. In case you couldn't tell from my past posts.

Next week, I'm going to Brookhill as a junior counselor. Oh, wow, I'm so excited. I loved Brookhill as a camper, and being a counselor will be so, so great. I'm pumped.

Last night, I saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding for the first time with Eli. Every time I told anyone that I'd never seen it, they couldn't believe it, so I decided the time had come. And it was cute! Not life-changing or anything...but cute. Cute's the word.

Good verse- "A man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out." Proverbs 10:9. Short, sweet, and to the point.

-caylielane.

Senseless

The past two days have been insanity for me. Yesterday, I went to the athletic club, the hospital, the church to record a CD, and to Tim's house. Today, I went out to lunch, babysat all day, and went to Gracie's. I do not have enough energy to expound on any of that.

It's 1:29 a.m. I am frazzled. I...I can't think. Wow. Sorry, blog readers. This blog post fails epicly. On a scale of one to ten...as a very optimistic person, I'd give this post a negative four.

Um...yes. Goodbye.

-caylielane.

Isaiah 1- my thoughts...

Today I started on the book of Isaiah, and I'm really excited about it. Really. I just finished reading the first chapter, and it was really convicting.

Is it not mind-boggling how oblivious we can be to our own sin? Even when it's doing nothing but harming us.

"Why should you be beaten anymre? Why do you persist in rebellion? Your whole head is injured, your whole heart afflicted. From the sole of your foot to the top of your head there is no soundness- only wounds and welts and open sores, not cleansed or bandaged or soothed with oil." Isaiah 1:5 (NIV).

It sounds so simple, doesn't it? Your sin is doing nothing but harming you! Oh, if only we could just decide to put an end to our sin. If only we could see things as God sees them. We'd see how messed up our priorities really are. But think about it. If WE were the ones to put sin out of our lives...what would we need God for? It's all about the heart, God makes that clear. It's all about the decision to hand everything over to God, and let him change you from the inside out. All we have to do is ask forgiveness of our sins, and let Him guide us.

At some point, everyone tries to be self-sufficient spiritually. I know I have. But time after time, I find that my spiritual life turns into do's and don'ts, a checklist to check off every day. It's got to be real, and the only way that's possible is to hand EVERY part of us over to God. He'll transform, He's proven himself capable.

"When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean." Isaiah 1:15-16.

We cannot ignore our sin any longer. It's what keeps us from real growth- from a REAL relationship with Christ. Ask forgiveness and be cleaned, and then offer your clean hands up in prayer to the Lord.

Goodness

Hey there. Ok, long story short, I did nothing yesterday except for go to Zaza's for dinner. Literally, yes. There's yesterday. Today, however, shall be more interesting. The plan is to get picked up around 9:45 by Carolyn and Scott and head to Tim's neighborhood pool to meet Tim and Gracie there. We'll swim and hang out for a while before going to the airport. Why the airport? Carolyn is leaving around 4:00 today to go to Germany for FIVE STINKIN WEEKS! We are gonna see her off. I still can't believe it. I'm gonna miss her.

My dear Carolyn,

Hello, from Arkansas. You are probably in Germany as we speak, which is a bit mind-boggling to me. I hope you like where you are staying, and the food that you're eating, and the places you are seeing. I hope everything looks promising for a great five weeks. Just know I'll be thinking about you every day and wishing you could come over and hang out. But when you get back...oh man, some serious hanging out shall go down. Why? Because you are so wonderful. I love you a lot. And I was pleasantly surprised, and happy, to hear that you read my blog. It made me joyful. Ok...well...OH. Another thing. I suggest that you keep a journal of some sort while you are there, and write down the little (or big) experiences as they come. I'd love to read it when you get back. And take pictures! Lots of pictures! You know how I am about pictures. Ok. Well, I love you a lot Carolyn. I hope you have an amazing trip of a lifetime!

-Caylielane.

So, that was for the lovely Carolyn. After the airport, we are going to the church to pray for the middle-schoolers who are going to Nashville on a mission trip in the next week. Then we have Jamaica training. Sounds like a great day to me. Yes, yes it does.

Always blessed beyond belief.

-caylielane.

Happy Daze

Hey! Wow, yesterday was a crazy day. It was super fun though. Well....I'll start with Sunday. Sunday morning church was different than usual for a couple of reasons. First of all, I helped lead worship with Mr. Brymer throughout the service. It went really well! Also, during the service, my family was confirmed into the church. It was really an awesome service.

Have I mentioned that I love St. Andrews?

After church, Gracie came with our family back home for a little while. We swam out in the backyard, which was lovely. Then we were off to Jackson's birthday party at the rollerskating rink. We had fun skating...and attempting to help Carson skate. It was more of a dragging action, not gonna lie. After that, Gracie and I went back home, I cleaned my room, and we were off to an ACT Prep class. It was...hmm. Well, it was good information. Hmph. Yeah. Haha. After the prep class ended around 9:30, Gracie and I went over to Tim's house and hung out for a while. We just watched Chuck and talked and ate. Good times. Yes. I then spent the night with Gracie, surprise surprise.

So now we are up to yesterday. Yesterday, we slept in until 10:40. When I woke up, I had a small freakout at how late it was. I NEVER sleep that late, and I was not very thrilled that I had. It wasn't even like I was catching up on missed sleep...I just lost that much of my day. I was not a happy camper at that point, haha. We got up, ate breakfast, and hung around the house until 1:30ish. Then, Mrs. Lisa, Gracie and I headed to Hobby Lobby to pick up a few things. Twas lovely. I sure do like that there Hobby Lobby, don't you?

Then, Mrs. Lisa and I dropped Gracie off at Jason's for guitar lessons. After she went in, we left to go get Tim. We ended up hanging out at their house for a while...I had fun goofing off with Tim, Mia, and Naomi, Tim's adorable sisters. We're pretty tight, the three of us. Hahaha. After we picked up Gracie from guitar, Mrs. Lisa dropped the three of us off at my house. We all helped clean the house, and then hung out for a while.

Then, it was party time! I had a pool party for a bunch of people. It was great. We swam and ate, basically. The party wound up around 10 or 10:30 pm.

Fun stuff, man. Today, mom's spending the day at the hospital with my aunt, so I'm kind of the mom for the day. Carson and I are currently watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Carson is keeping me entertained by hopping around wile eating Crunch Berries. He's a silly little boy, and I love him dearly.

-caylielane

Yet Another Fabulous Day.

Today was the Sole To Soul 5k- all the money went towards the Nashville and Jamaica mission trips this summer. It went great! I ran it with Carolyn and Julie. We had such an awesome time, and lots of people showed up! After the 5k, my family headed to Chick-Fil-A, which is always amazing. Chargrilled chicken sandwich...doesn't get much better than that.

Then Dad and I went home and watched The Visitor. You probably haven't heard of it. It's not really a typical movie- it felt more like a novel, because the characters were so well developed. You should watch it. Yes, you should.

After THAT, we met Eli at the athletic club and lifted weights, which was harder than normal, for some reason. I don't know. Hopefully I won't be sore tomorrow. Then Eli and I swam laps outside, which I absolutely loved! It reminded me of my intense swim team days, and not gonna lie, it made me miss it. But I can't go back...it takes over your life. Eli and I plan on keeping it up throughout the summer, though. I loved it. Did I mention that I loved it?

So, from the Athletic Club, Eli and I headed home and ate dinner. Christian was having a pool party for some of his homeschool friends, and I think they had lots of fun. Eli and I just watched Dear John. It was bizarre seeing it after reading the book. Let. Me. Tell. You. The book is so amazing. I read it in 2 days, no joke. The movie was a good attempt, but even the best actors and best director wouldn't be able to do the book justice. It's such a sweet story. Ah.

I constantly thank God for blessing me with Elizabeth. She's such an amazing friend, and I love her dearly.

-caylielane.

Bunny Trail

Hello, friend. This is Caylie reporting after a long, happy day. I woke up this morning around 7:20 and watched Carson until noon. The two of us had quite a dandy time. We swam a little bit, watched Handy Manny, ate eggs...doesn't get much better than that. When Dad got home, Crib and I were off to guitar lessons, which I LOVE by the way. It's so much fun. I'm so glad I'm finally learning how to do this...it's a skill I'll be glad I have for a long time. I can't wait to put some of my written songs to music, or learn how to play some songs by my favorite artists. Can't wait. GAH I love music. Haha. I do believe I've mentioned that recently.

After guitar, we came home for a little bit, where I just chilled. I did nothing, basically. No joke. I can't think of anything that took place, but I know it was pleasant. After that, I headed to Ana's grandparent's pool to swim for a while with Ana, Meredith, and Bliss. It was great to see them after so long! It's crazy how much we've all changed in the past year. You know what else is crazy? I'm basically a junior now. An upperclassman.

Can a homeschooler be an upperclassman?

Oh well. I like the idea, so I'm giving myself the title, like it or not. Two more years of high school. It's so bizarre and unreal to me. I can't believe how quickly I'm getting older. I don't feel as old as I am, but at the same time, I know I do. Its strange. This time in two years, I'll be getting ready to head off to college. College? What? Me? I'm not old enough to be thinking about that.

Oh wait, yes I am. Snap.

Sigh. I can't stop this train. And, I'm learning that it wouldn't be a good thing if I could. Life is about experiencing, growing, and loving. I wouldn't want to miss out on one experience to make another last longer. I plan on living life a minute at a time, and in time, allowing those minutes to add up. Somehow.

At least, that's the plan.

-caylielane.

A Post Full of Lists...

So. Here's what Caylie Lane has been up to for the past two days. I'm feeling very blunt and straight forward today, so I'm going to record this in a list format. My apologies to all you list-haters.

YESTERDAY...

Woke up.

Studied biology.

Took biology test.

Went running.

Gracie and Tim came over.

Swimmage.

Lunch.

Scott joins the party.

Swim again. All day.

Sunburn.

Jamaica meeting.

Gracie's house.

Watched 24. (addicting.)

Skyped with Carolyn.

Talked.

Slept.

TODAY...

Woke up at Gracie's.

Got ready.

Ate muffins.

Went to church...

To meet Barnetts...

To help get ready...

For the fundraiser 5k.

Panda Garden.

Gracie's house.

Eli joined us.

Sitting, talking.

Lion King.

Nap.

Dinner.

Church 5k volunteer meeting.

Home.

Blog.

Biology.

At least that's the plan.

Yup! So, for those of you that read this blog by some random girl living an Arkansan life...there you go. I guess you could say my life is busy, huh? But it's fabulous, as I've previously stated...a few times.

I like Dave Matthews band. And Audio Lotion. And the Beatles. And Bob Dylan. And Coldplay. And Duffy. And Five for Fighting. And I See Stars. And John Mayer. And Jason Derulo. And The Killers. And Michael Buble. And Moby. And Sam Sparro. And Train. And The Script.

Music is a good thing.

-caylielane.

Blah Blah Blahs.

So, I got a new blog background. Like it? I do. That's why I picked it.

So here's my plan for today. I'm going to study intensely for biology until 11:00. At 11, I'll take my biology test, hopefully feeling decently good about how well I did. After that, I'll be done with school for the day, and I'll move on to happier, merrier things. I plan on going on a long run today, which I haven't done in a while. That will be nice. I'll make the perfect playlist on my ipod before I go. There's nothing like running to great music; getting in that zone where you forget you're even running. It's just you and your music. And God, of course. Hahaha.

Tonight, I have the first of many nights of mission trip training sessions at the church. For Jamaica. Ahhh I can't wait for Jamaica. Have I mentioned that? It shall be wonderful.

Yesterday was not a fun day. All I did was study. Literally. It was a day wasted, in my book. I did nothing but biology. I don't plan on having a career involving biology. So...why? WHY?

Sigh.

I need to make some money. I never have money, and it really stinks. I'm gonna try to find time to do some more babysitting or something, because it would be nice to be able to buy something every once in a while.

This is a scattered post, and for that...I apologize. But it's my brain right now. So scattered. I wish I were running right now. But no. I have two hours of biology ahead of me. Hmm. I need to get happy.

Wish me luck.

-caylielane.

Brain of Mush

Today has been nothing...but...studying. Biology. I do not like biology, no I do not. And I'm quite bitter about the fact that I spent all day attempting to learn it.

Bitter is what I am. Arg.

-caylielane.